“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader—not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”
– E.L. Doctorow
Personal Story
I wrote a short story in high school. In fact, I wrote many short stories in high school. But there was one in particular I wrote that I was proud of.
The short story was from the perspective of a sentient smart phone. The phone was built for one purpose: to keep its owner happy. In doing so, the phone only made its owner’s life more and more miserable, not understanding what true happiness is. I meant the story to be an unsettling and cautionary tale.
I showed it to all of my friends and they loved it. Even some of my friends who were good writers liked it. (I can call them good writers because they won multiple writing competitions.) They thought it was very unique.
I decided to submit it to a couple short story competitions, and to my surprise, I didn’t win any of them. In fact, I actually got feedback from one competition. While they liked the premise, they said there was too much telling and not enough showing. That feedback bothered me.
I remember thinking to myself: “the whole point of the story is that it’s being told, not shown.” It was from the limited perspective of a smartphone. My writing style was robotic on purpose. I felt that the critic had completely missed the point.
Introduction
To this day, I have thought long and hard about that rule… “Show Don’t Tell.” I understand the heart of it: immerse your readers by showing action instead of just telling them what happened. But still something about it bothered me. The day I heard Brandon Sanderson refer to it as one of the “worst pieces of writing advice,” I felt justified. Aha! So I am not alone in my feeling.
What Brandon didn’t mean by this statement is that showing is a bad thing. He was implying something else. When “Show Don’t Tell” is treated as a hard and fast rule, it’s misunderstanding writing and all of its complexity. Rather, it should be treated as guideline. Good writing requires a balance of both telling and showing.
When teenage me got the feedback that my short story did too much telling, I felt like it was an unfair assessment to make. Because there was no nuance in the criticism. I needed more details as to why the story didn’t work. You could say that this critic was “telling and not showing.”
Writing should be a healthy balance of showing and telling. If you “tell” too much, the story can be bland and feel somewhat rushed. If you “show” too much, then the story can become bogged down in details that are not relevant. Telling moves the story along quickly. Showing slows it down and emphasizes important moments.
Let’s take a look at how to best utilize each technique in your writing.
Show Don’t Tell
Showing provides emphasis. It’s meant to slow the story down and draw attention to something. By showing, you create an atmosphere and draw the reader into a crucial moment. It highlights details that are important.
An example of when showing not telling comes in handy includes the following example:
Telling: “As the man approached me, I realized how large and intimidating he was.”
Showing: “The man stomped over to me. Every step seemed a momentous effort for him as he carried his hulking body towards me. I could see his muscles bulging beneath the tight tank top he wore. His eyes were fixated on me with an intense glare. Clenched tightly, his jaw would certainly require a crowbar to open. I took a step back, looking for the best direction to escape should I need to…”
A dramatic example, perhaps, but I hope you get the idea. The first one gets the idea across, but it’s kind of boring. The second example provides a clearer sense of how the narrator is feeling.
Showing is character focused. It draws us into the mind and observations of the character by explaining the details as they see them. Because of this, showing should feel dramatic. It’s led by our characters’ thoughts and feelings about the situation.
Showing is action oriented too. The author is letting the movements of the characters speak for their feelings. That’s how we pick up on feelings in the real world, right? Hardly anyone will look at you and say “I am feeling sad.” No. You will see their shoulders drop, their back slump, and their chin quiver. This infers that they are feeling sad without them ever saying so.
In a lot of ways, showing makes the story more realistic to us, because it explains the world through our five senses. It takes information from an abstract idea and makes it a reality.
Tell Don’t Show
To think telling is inferior to showing is somewhat short-sighted. Telling may not evoke the same emotions as showing, but that is the point. It’s a different tool. Therefore, it has a different purpose. And yet, a lot of writers talk about it as if it is a less-than form of writing. If telling was the only form of writing an author used, it could certainly be boring and unimaginative.
Telling helps with the pacing of a story. Not every scene and moment needs to be painted in great detail. It can transition us from one showing moment to another. For example, instead of going through the painstaking work of describing every minute of a journey, simply telling us a character traveled from point A to point B is the better choice. Telling summarizes an event to give the audience context, without adding too many details.
Telling can be utilized to soften the intensity of a moment. Showing evokes more intense feelings, because it is more dramatic. Not every moment should be dramatic. Punctuating a descriptive moment by a simple sentence can be helpful to help take the edge off.
Example: “He placed a hand to his stomach as it growled. Those donuts seemed especially large. Light reflected off of the glaze, making them appear heavenly. Certainly, no one would notice if he just took one, right? He pictured his mom standing behind the counter. ‘No’ he thought. And so, he walked away.
The very ending tells us more than it shows. It breaks the flow of his thoughts which nearly has him in a trance. Transitioning to telling breaks him out of it. It’s almost jarring. But it changes the intensity of the moment.
Overall, telling is straight and to the point which can be an effective way of writing depending on the context.
Show Don’t Tell OR Tell Don’t Show?
When to comes to writing, there are no hard and fast rules. You can write however you want. You can follow the recommended guidelines or break them depending on the story you are telling. The thing about guidelines is that they are meant to guide, not direct. Although, do consider that the hundreds of authors that have existed before you created these guidelines. And there is a lot of wisdom to be found from them.
Generally speaking, you don’t want to overdo either showing or telling. Too much or too little of the other can make the reading feel overwhelming or boring. Finding the balance between immersion and giving information is important for the flow of a story. Then again, it really depends on the story you are trying to tell. Some may require more telling or showing. It’s important you write the story how you envision it.
Another tip for show don’t tell (or vice versa) is to show what’s important and tell what’s not. Don’t go into great details about an object in a scene if it does’t concern us. If a character wears a watch, and it’s a trademark of said character, mention they wear the watch, but unless the watch is important, don’t go into great lengths about the watch itself.
Conclusion
What you need to remember about writing is this crucial thing: ALL writing is telling. No matter how many details you choose to go into, it’s still technically “telling.” You are describing the event in words. It’s just the amount of detail being given and how it’s being given that transitions it from “telling” to “showing.”
“Show Don’t Tell” is a well-intended rule. Yet, it should be treated more like a principle. There’s no need to cling so hard to it and think that any and all writing should be done this way. Writing has nuance. Most of the time, you are probably better off following this guidelines pretty closely; however, every author is unique. Every story is unique. So there’s room for flexibility and to go against the guidelines.
Showing and telling is a yin and yang relationship. A give and take, Both are crucial. Neither is superior. They are used for different things. It’s your job as the author to decide which one is needed at any given point in your story.
Please check out some links included below of some articles I found helpful when discussing the topic of Show Don’t Tell and how to utilize the rule.
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